Positive Marriage

“Oh Gene!” My grandmother would always exclaim toward my grandfather. In those two words any listener could hear the laughter, love and tenderness she felt toward him. My grandfather was an eternal tease and his favorite target was my grandmother. After years of being the subject of his silly comments and goofy nudges she would always respond with a good nature laugh. My grandparents were the best humans I knew. Growing up their patience seemed endless, their love abounding, and their smiles and affection were always offered immediately. What made them more perfect in my eyes was the knowledge that they had not always been that way. Late night conversations would reveal that they once were- well just like me. Starting out in life and struggling. They struggled with living the gospel early in their marriage. They struggled with finances when my grandpa came home from World War II. They struggled with the pain of infertility and adding children into their small family. And they struggled with their own human tendencies such as pride and withholding forgiveness.  Yet by the time I came around all those struggles had smoothed them out and they were as perfect as I think one may be able to reach in this life. From observing them I can identify two key areas that led them to be so committed to each other. The first was they were truly best friends in every sense of the word. When one celebrated the other celebrated with them. When one struggled, the other felt that struggle and succored them. They worked together, played together, and dreamed together. They were ultimate best friends. The second area that kept their marriage together was their interactions were overwhelmingly positive, and they maintained that through laughter. When they struggled and fought, they were able to break the tension with a quick joke or a silly face. I can only remember a few negative interactions between them in all the time I spent with them. However, I have hundreds of memories of smiles, tender looks, laughter and of course my grandmother exclaiming,” Oh Gene!” The positive interaction was so prevalent one could feel it just being in their presence. They exuded positivity toward each other.

              Because of their example I hope to infuse my marriage with positivity. I hope. Like my grandparents, that I can become a person that is quick to laugh with my (future) husband and slow to anger. I hope to remember their example to me, that I don’t have to be perfect, but I do have to be continually trying.